Thought Disorder

Thursday, March 31, 2005

(:
when you smile, i can see through you.
i know what you are thinking.

blogger was down yesterday. and yesterday was one of my good days when i was happy and jolly. what a wet blanket. boooooooo .

yesterday was a notbad day for me, at least.
i was kind of spastic during lessons lah.
kept laughing away, laughed at NOTHING.
went crazy. just felt like going mad-
who cares about the consequences.

basketball was rather fun though.
played during recess and also at 1.35 break and after school.
^^
but was rather sad that i had to leave at 5.30 to go to erhu.
and i said i was going to hell.
hell be it.

the lessons ytd were kinda slack. BORING. long day you know.
and we had mass production yesterday.
it was quite fun, at least entertaining and worthwhile indeed.
many people said that our product was nice.(:
oh, its like a DUH.
we only managed to finish like 5-6 pieces, but given another 2 weeks grace period, and also with bockass back with us to chiong, think we can even exceed 20 pieces. great aint it.
it always rains during pw.

i was quite happy playing bball.
though i am lousy. i have no confidence and stuff.
i was happy.
played with 2A. guys and girls. united as 1 ? haha.
eugene was fuckingly ap lah.
and i hate it when he goes around disturbing people and making freakky noises.
and also, asking people dumb questions which have OBVIOUS answers.
he travelled a few times on the bball court. so ap.
he did it on purpose k.

i know you wanna know-
my guess was right from the start.
clever me. x)

today.
was like HELL.
early morning.refreshing day. i got myself a graze. thankyou.
i am so really hell cock-eyed.
science teacher really damn ap.
shittayy.
and recess time we came out of science lab, saw mr kiw scolding a few girls.
we ESCAPED. good heavens.
shucks. from chapters 7-11 of the chinese tb, i realise i dont know a single word.
there're so many words, and i can seem to remember any.
and guess what. we've got chinese test on mon.
c'mon. say HURREH. our favourite chinese test is here. fuck.
BE PREPARED TO FAIL.

it was raining quite heavily when school ended.
3rd lang bus came quite late.

i realised-
i cant remember what was i like when i was in pri sch.
gena said i was kind . ?
and now she says i am ap, in a funny sense.
i know sometimes she's niaoing me.
and i dont really appreciate her sarcastic remarks sometimes.
too direct. too hurting.
if you happen to read this, this is just what i felt.
she said i changed.
i dont feel a change in me.
maybe what you see now is not even me.
u cant decipher me.
nat cant.
my mum cant.
my dad cant.
not even myself.
whats wrong with me.
i changed- yet i dont care.
why should i be kind, when others are unkind to me?
why should i be helpful and generous, when others are just selfish poks?
no one cares about me. so i dont care too.
but really, i enjoy company. laughter.
try to take in my stupid remarks lah. i dont mean them actually.
and you know, sometimes when someone is talking to me, i dont seem to pay attention to them.
and yes, i dont.
i get distracted by things. dunno.
so i give you mindless answers.
which might be a little insult to you or what
i just cant pay attention to what people say.
neither do i remember what i say.
sorry if you think that what i said are stupid or what.
BLOODY.

gena and felicia tay thinks i should jio twinnie. dots.
hehhhhh` maybe i will. ^^

i felt fucked during jap.
and sianned.
and i was rather quiet. i didnt wanted to open my mouth cos i felt so tired.
i cant understand the teacher. boo.
anw, my twin has funny actions today. haha.
yes! and sehkia's friendster profile sucks to the core!!

today i feel connections in the things i do.
i picked up two sec one pupils ez link cards today.
and sometimes i feel emotional.
there's this wave of up and another of this wave of down following.
is my heart beating. ?
am i human anot.
if i m, why do i feel this way ? i.am.an.alien.
feel happy.feel sad. fuck.
and i realise there's this pattern about something. REALLY! i made several observations. wow.

shit. i posted something that day and i wanna take it back.
i will pluck up courage, one day.

school's out tommorow. speech day.
and i would like to say-
mr sng, principal of dhs, rocks! (:

6:15 PM

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

couldnt see you anywhere.
this is called destiny. this is called fate.
its all over. i want to forget everything. ^^

its gonna be a short post again.
yes- i am currently piaing hard for english book review. CHIONG!
actually i could return home at around 7 something and get cracking on my homework- but my ma brought me to the mall and made me walk there for 2 over hours. wasted my time. and my legs are like freakingly ACHING.
so later i will go do, no i will chiong my english comprehension. sian. i want early sleep also cannot.

after witnessing all the tragedies of LOVE, i realise that i prefer to be free. this word called love is dumb. so stupid. whats the use of it. maybe its up to me to find out. (:

anyway, pe was kinda killing my ass. i cant believe that we are gonna do the same bloody thing for tmr. sigh.
recess played bball. so long never play already. missed it alot. xP
ohh yeapp. i walked side by side with mr kiw today. SO FUN! exhilarating !!!!! i want i want i want AGAIN.
i was wearing kinda low socks. then my shirt ABIT* tucked out. he never catch anw. HEHE. i so happy i got away. and i was walking side by side with him. everyone see him all siam. natty qiannie and maine pok all run liaos i still walking happily behind with KIWKIW. ^^ sehbohh!
and, we had two free periods. WHEE! so after playing bball we went to have our "recess". HA.
hist was kindof slack. i realise that kang is really slow and slack. like- next week test, and she just covered on chapter 8. I AM GONNA FLOP IT.
and i took out my shoes. EWW. my socks tore apart. HAHA. so had to borrow gena's dhs socks to wear. BLEAH. so fucking.
after school played bball. i didnt enjoy it. hell. got some ACBC,ASBS people there make me feel anti-bball.
i think i looked like a total poot wearing those socks. matching those fat legs of mine.
and ONE THING. if you spotted me sporting DHS SOCKS in school just now, pls dont be surprised! and it wasnt linked to me walking beside KIWKIW. dots. no link at all. ^^
third lang- i liked it !
i really laughed alot . then yeah, we were match making people.
twinnie rocks !
and that kelvin sitting beside him keeps eyeing felicia tay. nehnehneh.
anw, i decided to wear my shoes w/o socks. haha. so dont be surprised if you saw me without socks. hehe. (:
dhs should make students wear no socks. FUN.
me&gena went on spotlight outing again. PW STUFF. BOO! didnt have sufficient money.
then when we paying for our stuffs, i was kinda pissed. I WILL FUCK PEOPLE WHO NEVER GIMME MONEY TMR. had to take my own money to pay okay ! MY SAVINGS FOR BILLABONG PENCILBOX ALL GONE. haiix.
then we chionged down to boon keng.
wahh kau. my legs were giving way.
walked walked. looked for beads.
yeapp. lucky my dad came to pick me up. or else i dont think i could ever make it home. ^^
shit. i look bimbotic with that hairband. TMR SPIKE HAIR LIAOS! heck KIWKIW.

MASS PRODUCTION tmr ! hope its fun ! gonna steal some thread from ma's sewing box later in the night. WHO CARES.
make THOSE who never contribute to WORK LIKE MAD ASSES tmr. watch out. HAHAHA!
YOU DIE LIAO ...

i may seem nonchalent- but i do care.
only one. (:

10:30 PM

Monday, March 28, 2005

i just submitted my previous skin just now. AUDDIE U CAN GO DOWNLOAD IT NOW! (:

i spent like 1 over hour making it ALL OVER AGAIN. couldnt bear to throw it away. ^^

anw, since its late now, and i am really lethargic and worn out, i will just give a brief post about today.
what a funny day. HYPERED. feeling hypered.
and nat's got a nice nick i gave her ! NATTYNANIPOOPOO. cool aint it. nattynanipoopoo. haha!
and yeap- i flopped today's chinese tingxie. HURRAH! (:
math test was..umm. OKAY! haha. so happy. ohoh beloved math.
and guess what. 1A' 2004 and 2A' 2005 have clinched champion for two consecutive years for the chinese storytelling competition. we rawk! taadahh. its IMPOSSIBLE to beat the ones with d [A]ttitude. nehneh-
today was a memoriable day. like- we , consisting of me,natty,jolene, qiannie and maine pokk formed cool and cute malay names for ourselves.
i am called surianah.
nat's called akidah.
jolene's called athikah.
qiannie's called fatimah.
and maine poks is called aminah.
WHEE! cute. nahnahnah. perfect.
debates was slack.
and i wanna cheer for tmr ! its gonna be a SO short day. ^^
and we can pon HE test. xP
holla people. PERFECT HAVEN.
after school saw this young mediacorp artiste with gena pok. very cute. name's phua see peng. he looked lost. hehe.

JIAYOU FLEA.FELICIA YAP!! (:

okayokay. im going to sleep now. ardioz.

10:58 PM

Sunday, March 27, 2005

YELLOWCARD - ONLY ONE

Broken this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)

And I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only oneI let go,

there's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)

I feel like giving up (like giving up)

I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only oneI let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly

Leave a note for you my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only oneI let go,

there's just no one,

no one like you

You are my only,

my only one

My only one

You are my only,

my only one

11:32 PM

die and died and dieded. nehnehneh. shit.
i wanna fuck this coming two weeks. DAMNIT!!!

my mum bought her new and bloody seh hp today. i will getta use it sometimes ehh! (: hehe.
that nokia 6260. the one featured on tv ? nice. the screen can turn 360d. COOL.
but its abit bulky and stuff. overall, its NUBBAD and got MP3 leh! sehbohh.

from tmr onwards, i must must MUST limit myself to going online once a day.
cos i always cannot finish my homework. then next day go school chiong. i feel bloody hell stressed. so i know, i must cut my internet time. so slack i ve become nowadays.

and nat sent me the recipe thing. good. i can copy liaos. dunno what she means by sending me- she never mention anything. the salmon thing i can copy hers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LALALA - THANKS NATTY.

tmr got debates. SO FREAKKING SIAN! bOo.
then aft tution i rush home and chiong and pia for home econ test on tues. tmr.
and yeah, tmr got MATH TEST AND TINGXIE. i forget to bring my math notebook home AGAIN. sigh. this is the 2nd of the 75marks test and for both test i never bring my textbook home to mug. FUCK ME. fuckk.

my mum is siao. she gimme back DIDUM again. anw, WHEE! can listen le! (:

i am mugging till i am fugging.

i promise i will get over you soon-
i will get over EVERYTHING that is depressing.
happy-go-lucky life i seek;
is it ever possible ?

thanks auddie for telling me you read my blog everyday ! this really really loyal fan of flea. hehh. ^^

shall be guai and obedient and update my SNB and vocab book tmr. and do my journal.
there's still much for me to learn. i realised today when i was having tution.
start today. although i know i dont wanna start forever.
jiayou! to those people who wanna work hard (but always fail de)! jiayouu!
feeling HIGH. tmr it will be low.

i found the pencilbox of my life. ^^ shall save save save and save. nat and flea jiayou !! (:

10:48 PM

Saturday, March 26, 2005

new skin. any comments?
and fuck, really fuck. wanna fuck myself.
i forgot to save my previous skin's html codes.
HELL!
i love it so much man.
i gonna redo it, and submit it on blogskins.
^^
I LOVED THAT SKIN ALOT. (:
this skin feels like something big is lacking. boo.
C:

11:49 PM

life for rent- dido

I haven't ever really found a place that I call home

I never stick around quite long enough to make it

I apologize that once again I'm not in love

But it's not as if I mind

that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy

Well I deserve nothing more than I get

Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought

that I would love to live by the sea

To travel the world alone

and live more simply

I have no idea what's happened to that dream

As there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy

Well I deserve nothing more than I get

Cos nothing I have is truly mine

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy

Well I deserve nothing more than I get

Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down

While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try

Well how can I say I'm alive

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy

Well I deserve nothing more than I get

Cos nothing I have is truly mine

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy

Well I deserve nothing more than I get

Cos nothing I have is truly mine

Coz nothing I have is truly mine,

Coz nothing I have is truly mine.

10:09 PM

i wished i could be that lucky gillian from the group twins. nehnehneh-
edison chen likes her ! so does shawn yue. alamak. so they are both fighting over her. hehe.

fuck. i ve been living with my family for so many years already. but it doesnt ever appear to me that they are important to me and i love them alot. no, i dont even love them. i dont even feel any shit for them.

it was a happy day. we all went out to cut our hair.

then we went to get my mum's new hp.

the person said if we wanted to trade the hp in, we had to bring the charger along.

and no one brought it along.

hell. thats when it all started.

my mum became so fucked up.

i dunno whats the prob with her lah.

then we suggested we go back get the charger.

then she was like "i dont wanna buy anymore"

siao. she so fucked up for what.

tmr aft tll still can go buy what.

there's a shop in united square also.

then she say my pa drag and drag.

siao lo. she say she never bring charger is becos of pa.

and cant she bring it along when pa says dunnid to bring ?

is SHE who w+ants to buy the hp, not pa.

then she jump from one topic to another.

reach home she fucked pa.

in front of us.

then when we fuck her, she scold us.

she herself set a bad example for us.

sucker.

then what- she confiscate my mp3.

and say what i spoil it

fuck lah.

u take back lah.

i dun even need it.

hell you.

tmr when u get your cd i wont help u burn intp the mp3.

fat hope.

if ure so clever u do it yourself lah.

fuck you.

dont let me listen dont listen lorh-

its not like as if i have to beg you to let me use it.

siao.

i dunno lah

i hate my family.

shit. what kind of mother i have.

u dont even know how to be a mother.

i wished you didnt even give birth to me most of the times.

sucker.

u also dont wanna give birth to me, then you might as well abort me in the first place.

i dont mind going mad studying, but i dont wanna live under your fucking palm.

shit. why was i born. and i have such a irratating mother.

go live your own life. i willl live mine.

its all over-

I watch the walls around me crumble

But it's not like I won't build them up again

So here's your last chance for redemption

So take it while it lasts cause it will end

My tears are turning into time

I'm wasting trying to find

a reason for goodbye

I can't live with you

can't breathe without you

I dream about you

Honestly tell me that it's over

Cause if the world is spinning

and I'm still living,

it won't be right if we're not in it together

Tell me that it's over

and I'll be the first to go

don't want to be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you

But at the same time you're

the heart that I call home

I'm always stuck with these emotions

and the more I try to feel the less I'm whole

My tears are turning into time

I'm wasting trying to find

a reason for goodbye

I can't live with you

can't breathe without you

I dream about you

Honestly tell me that it's over

Cause if the world is spinning

and I'm still living,

it won't be right if we're not in it together

Tell me that it's over

and I'll be the first to go

don't want to be the last to know

Over,over,over

My tears are turning into time

I'm wasting trying to find

a reason for goodbye

I can't live with you

can't breathe without you

I dream about you

Honestly tell me that it's over

Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living,

it won't be right if we're not in it together

Tell me that it's over

honestly tell me,

honestly tell me

don't tell me that it's over,

don't tell me that it's over

i finished reading the seance miraculously. so gonna start on my book review already.

i hate the word love and family. its all nothing.

its just a stupid thing which gives you pain.

i just wanna care about myself and my own life.

the rest i will just chuck it aside.

why should i care about others.

its all useless when others dont even appreciate you.

its all over.

now i will go to yahoo to search for my book. so i can cheat. nananipoopoo. tell ms wee if you want ! i dont care -

i need a new blogskin. one that describes my life.

9:24 PM

i liked the dream i dreamt last night.
i wished it would come true.
cos its totally impossible between.us.
sad that my mum had to wake me up.
that dream- i will remember it forever.

yesterday spent my entire day online doing home.econ. and chatting with my dearr qian.
sian lo.
then went out to parkway parade and saw our STUPID MATH TEACHER.
not mdm tay.
so is good friday for me considered good ? nah.
they should have well monday, best tuesday, wonderful wednesday, fantastic thursday, and fabulous week. so we have holiday for each of them. (:

i know the dream aint true when i checked my hp.
i wished it was really true.

later going out to cut my hair. i shall go hunt for nice hairstyles on friendster.
then my mum gonna buy new hp later also. that nokia 6260 or what. its damn damn seh. maybe i will get to use it. ? (: i hope so.

i just had REAL choc cake for breakfast. it rocks! yeahh-

shit laa. i better start mugging for tests and doing my homework.
fuck. i hate this kinda life.

maybe one day, one day, i would pick up my courage.
it aint good to look at happy endings between my YOU and your HER.

fuck. i hate the thing called love. sucky.

11:13 AM

Friday, March 25, 2005

"All About You" -Mcfly

[Danny:]It's all about you

([Tom:] It's about you)

It's all about you, baby

([Tom:] It's all about you)

It's all about you

([Tom:] It's about you)

It's all about you

[Tom:]

Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.

So I told you with a smile

'It's all about you'

Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,

Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'

[Danny:]

And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.

But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.

So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.

Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.

Yeah...

[Solo]

[Danny & Tom:]

And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.

But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.

So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.

Dancing on the kitchen tiles,

Yes you make my life worthwhile,

So I told you with a smile...

It's all about you.

[Danny:]It's all about you

([Tom:] It's about you)

It's all about you, baby

([Tom:] It's all about you)

It's all about you

([Tom:] It's about you)

It's all about you

wahhh! guess who i saw today.

I SAW MR ASSHOLE.

our math teacher. sucker.

11:06 PM

Thursday, March 24, 2005

shucks. i on the radio and i hear the same songs from didum. and truly madly deeply, which i heard it like 6 times today. bleah-. describes me today. this song. (:

8:40 PM

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

tmr is the 4 schools sports day combined sports meet a.k.a annual sunburn day. (:

what should i say now ? i pity this girl in 2A. i really feel betrayed on her behalf. i cant believe IT anyway. i hope that [that girl] wont ever get to know and find out this-

okay, maybe she knows.

and i wanna get this right. i hate wednesdays. the reason[s] that i hate wednesdays is because i hate wednesdays.

a) lessons end at 4.30. freaking late.

b) there's erhu. i dread erhu. coz to me its like going to hell.

c) i get home really late.

d) my bag usually is damn damn heavy. and i have to piang home.

e) i have to carry my erhu around.

f) i am tired of going to school. everyday. i hate school.

i hate school.

i want to pon school.

late for flag raising. we all ran from 2A to parade square. paranoid SCs were asking us to hurry up. whats their prob. so what if we walk slowly. duh.

had this boring stepp programme thing.

so bock said stepp programme is like my blog.

analyzing my blog add ..

stepp-.blogspot.com

Singapore and Thailand Exchange Participation Programme.

duh! bloody stupid.

i realise people who i dunno from dhs add me on friendster. who are they. maybe they know me. okay, whatever. but i dont know them. whatever.

they know me coz i am ugly. BOO!

i am a sucker.

english. in comp lab today. bored lah. look for brochure stuffs on e net. wee talk talk we all not listening. got air con! shuang. right in the morning- COOLING~!

OP darn sian. eugene and gena's fonts were so bloody small and hard to read. dont wanna strain my eyes.

linkin park's music is NOT noise. DUH.

chionged down to PE. wasnt really looking forward to it. okay lah. SOME PEOPLE ALWAYS GIVE EXCUSES FOR NOT TAKING PE. slacko.

my stamina deproved alot ALOT. its so damned obvious.

after not taking pe on the last week of sch, i didnt even do sports during holidays.

two weeks never exercise ! AHH I AM AN ASS!

so we were supposed to run 2 rounds, do 22 situps and run ANOTHER two rounds, and do standing broad jump.

this almost killed poor little fat flea.

now my calf is bloody pain. rarh.

it will heal. no fret.

okay, so i was already so so so damn exhausted after doing all these.

last time did was like still ok.

now i feel i am a fat pig! haix.

i couldnt climb the stairs. duh. so tired.

i haven been exercising my butt! thats why.

FLEA'S SO SLACK.

math test ! i didnt really REALLY mug for it.

i forgot to bring my notebook home ! whahahas.

and i forgot to study ALOT of things.

see, my math suck. DUH.

anw, while i was doing, my hands were trembling due to the tedious running.

and i couldnt think straight. damn.

and the worst part is- I DUNNO HOW TO DO ALOT OF QUESTIONS.

like i just tikam tikam do. sad.

then got 1 ques i haven finish factorising then time's up!

ALAMAK! siao bohhhhh!

but its over. let me laugh then weep when i get my test back. BOO.

read chobits during hcl. so bloody sian. twc there crap crap i down there slack slack read read. lit more sian. but time passes quite quickly though. we started on merchant of venice. and got dunno what bassonio and antonio and shylock thing. i was slacking the whole lesson. sleep. dun even know whats the story about can.

break 1.35. went to borrow bball with wayne. play lah. then those pigs from our class came to play with us. and they had to succumb to my every command. BLEAH. being spas. me and wayne and ziren vs eugene and sean and kiwi. we won ! ziren and sean pro-ded. i felt funny playing bball. so long never touched bball. thats why. aiming off. boo.

slacked art. nothing to do. go around laugh laugh see see look look.

PW more slack. i sat there and crap crap. bohh. i dont wanna do anything cos i already did so many stuffs till i am tired. qian did more. anw our prototype was nubbad lah.

and i realise my ideas and yours arent able to click. i dun think the rest their ideas can click anw.

you re funny. as in weird.

weird ideas. funny ehh.

yeah, so it was a slacking day for me. why should i do anything . when noone wants to do. i dont wanna be a rescue float for anyone. if you want to do project, WE ALL must come together and do it together. play a part. if dun wan then too bad then. shit i just dun wanna give a fuck about anything.

no bball to play aft sch. went canteen and attempted to prac erhu there. then when i was adjusting the xian, it broke. whahas. replaced it and it broke again. DOHH!

then heck lah, throw it aside. went to play bball with elysia and gang. sian lah. stand there and eat my wanton. so bhb the people. they suck. i dun wanna play with them.

left for erhu. hell. dont wanna talk about it. mary was in a nubbad mood. and i lied to her today. x= i said i never prac cos i was sick for two weeks. i was only sick for one week. duh. heng ah today no scoldings. but i am gonna prac everyday, i promise. REALLY!

lucky pa came to pick me up. or else i think i would have fainted on the street. with that freaking heavy bag. and erhu. crap.

i hate wednesdays. shit.

I FEEL LIKE HAVING AN APPLE PIE! ohgod.

10:06 PM

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

i wonder who reads my blog. maybe no one. duhh.

so today flea was really childish. she has always been.

today was stressing. very very VERY.
in the morn was quite late again.
i dont wanna wake up lol. its like i am so darn tired and i want some rest.
i forced myself to wake up anyway. sighs.

so went to sch and chionged CME. at least me and nat both contributes ! (: not like some freakky slacko ass who just cares about herself, her appearance, thinks she's seh, super slack, only cares about flirting and steading. whatever lah. qian if ure tired u can rest on my shoulder !! thats one thing for sure.

so jing later told me that we CME is due on this friday. which apparently isnt. duh.

ohyes. mr cheng is gonna be away for a while. hie grandfather passed away. hurrah for him not being here. (: i hate him. he doesnt take our jokes and i dont understand a shit he says. ohwell. lucky there's still tution. so mdm tay taught us today. yay! mdm tay rocks! i am happy to say this. when mdm tay retires, i will be so depressed. okay- she's gonna retire in around may. so i guess we're gonna be stuck with mr cheng for the rest of the year. BOO.
so there's gonna be math test tmr. a MAJOR ONE. and i realised that i ve forgotten to bring my notebook home. silly silly flea. now i cant study. lucky there's the textbook at home! hurrah for the textbook! gonna really really seriously pia for it later. so after blogging is piaing time ! i suck in math anyway, nat and gena. u all can stop saying that i am pro in math, cos im not even pro. i suck suck suck. i cant even qualify for the math olympiad. sigh. i will work harder !! boxer's spirit.

then was home econ. whee today i brought my lunchbox, but it happened to turn out that we didnt even need it. always when i never bring it along, we happen to have alot of food to carry and when i bring it along, we dont need it. contradicting ah! so i stuffed it under my table. let it rot. nat's spirit !! (:
we did experiment on the browning of apples today. it was kinda fun. yeah- and i did little work. copied from everyone the answers. yeah. hehe. hey it was group discussion, and poor flea was left out of it. duh. im just lazy. slacko. so flea was pathetic, had to even go get a chair for herself. extra. nolahnolah.

flea loves qian. qian dont be frustrated, coz its no use getting freakking nerved over that POK. flea loves qian more than turtle does. duh. (:

english was a flop. nat and i realised that ms wee and twc is bloody biased. like gena had so many mistakes in her assignment and they dont even point it out. gena's compo was like- i dont really get the idea. dont understand. and there's one part where she changed from 1st person to 3rd person. and i was really confused. whatever.

TATOOS SUCK. I HATE PEOPLE WITH TATOOS. THEY ARE BAD PEOPLE AND THEY SUCK THEY SUCK THEY SUCK.

so i am SO NIAOING THAT PERSON in class.
in case you didnt know, i was referring to YOU.

hcl did my math homework. lolx.
was sian lah. got back our compo. i only got like 57. omyshit. what the hell. twc's standards are SO HIGH. mercy mercy!

CME did my math. i hate equations. simplifications are rather easy though. tuigee said that CME project due next week. hah. but we handed it up today anw. he said ours was nice ! whee*
and i know THAT PERSON wont be helping qian with the project. qian poor thing.
and duh, she will slack during PW. lets see tmr. and her lappy. so fake. so dog.

aft sch went for 3rd lang. we waited for gena at the foyer for sooooo long but she never came. alamak.
3rd lang was rather boring. i was quite attentive today. got everything that teacher teached. i will work harder!
so i saw my twin today. ! (:
and sehkia. so disgusting.

after 3rd lang went to ps with gena. we were like carrying so many things.
went to spotlight to hunt for materials for PW.
so we were spas there. gena's ideas were nice, but i dont think its suitable though.
we took alot of photos! so cool! and videos. whee-
we go around spotlight trying on stuff. so fun!
so in the end we were there for quite long. being spas and childish. dots.
people were all looking at us. =\
paiseh.
then we hang around until 6.45, went to pay money for our items.
then went to basement to go to the mrt, but we ended up buying food. alamak.
i bought this coronte thing. donno how is it spelt. nice! (:
then we wanted to eat tako pachi, but couldnt find the store. blur poks.
then gena bought this bittersweet choc. it was nice! i bought one too. :)
it is cheap and kinda small. 4 bars. small ones.
i took like from dhoby ghaut to hougang to finish my choc. -.-"
but, it was nice! can buy for v.dae next time.

on the mrt was so spas! we took videos and pics together. oman. people were like looking at two retards. hehe.

reached home quite late. didnt get scolded. whahas! x)

time is really precious. i want 48 hours a day! is that possible ? NAH. FAT HOPE. FAT DREAM.

tmr got erhu! hell . hell. hell. i am going to hell. please pray for me. thanks. tons of joss sticks will do me some good. and burn incense paper for me. *weeps* i am waiting for my satay! papa's buying it. HERE IT COMES! lalala~

9:05 PM

Monday, March 21, 2005

i typed a bloody long entry and it couldnt be published. laggo comp. haix.

i saw the pictures. i dont like looking at THEM.
i hate you. i dislike you. i just dont like you.
cant you just scram out of my life.
GO AWAY. SCRAM. FUCK OFF.
i know what your mind harbours. its no good thing.
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
why do you have to do this to me.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OFF.

11:03 PM

Sunday, March 20, 2005

siao. i typed one entry and my comp got prob and it closed the window. freak.

k.

i love apple pies !

watched lord of the ring- the fellowship of the ring on channel 5 just now. i liked it alot and i wont mind watching a few times again. whee.

later got sch.
later got sch.
later got sch.
later got sch.

i was actually crapping with nic when i came online. sad that he guaikia go sleep early. so now crapping with rayson. we both boliao. now he put his nick as:
rayson//didumDzen - sad.todae got sch.depressing.bOo.为什么今天要上学? ].
kay lorh. we both siao. then i dunno what nick to put now. cos he changed already i cant copy his. liddat we go out and confuse people. lalala. this is called the art of lameness and boliaoism. bleah.
so we exchanged nicks. if u see me online, pls dont be surprised cos its felicia yap online, not rayson. haha. whee*. i can see "ME" online and talk to "MYSELF". funny!

today got tution. i was laughing throughout at this one freakky person.
that person is stellalala.
she really very FUNNY. yes seriously.
when she walks into the classroom we all laugh.
then today she v funny.
she was saying
"haiix. tmr must go back to school."
then we all laughed. yes.
then we played this stupid game. teacher made us play it. so lame.
so i sarboed stella and she sarboed me back.
so we were both in.
BLEAH.
funny lah.

my papa came to pick me up after class.
then he fetched me to another tution.
isnt that interesting ? haha.
so i almost fell asleep there.
i felt rather tired. sleepy. x=
watched this video. Hi!Life. quite cool. i was good enough to take down notes.
and yeapp. these days many people wearing braces.
i think [he]'s wearing.
cos i saw [him] wearing something on his teeth today.
and i wanna laugh at [his] hair.
funny lah.
i think [he] put loads of hard wax to make it stand like crazy.
funny!
but i dont find it funky at all.
my standard of funky hairstyles is damn high.
i should create a club for funky hairstyles. whee*

so yeapp now i feel like goin to sleep already.
i feel depressed. must go school. haven finish homework.
i like seeing 'ME' online. cool.
and i like being 'HIM'. fun.
we two are siao liao. just dont bother us. whee*
i like talking to 'MYSELF'.
and i like downloading music into didum. didum i love it!
now we making colours into our nicks. see i said we are mad. -.-
successful ehh!
i feel like sleeping. haix.

i dont feel the school mood now. just wanna sleep until i wake up. dont even bother to wake me hoh.
i feel confused when i am talking to "ME" cos we both same font color, same nick color. haha.
i feel like sleeping. x= bOo.

school later ! perk up felicia aka rayson. LOLX!!!

12:07 AM

Saturday, March 19, 2005

DIDUM d ZEN// it belongs to FELICIA YAP.

i woke up at 4.30am today. and i went out. siao.
so today i got my creative zen micro- and DUhh i am gloating about it.
lalala*
next time i shall camp overnight. nah, thats a bad idea. (:

i was freakingly shocked like just a while ago.
i wonder, people who have good lives- they have all the money they want, the education is provided, and they actually have practically EVERYTHING. the part is that i dont understand why the fucking hell they want to do things to ruin themselves. they are given money, freedom, education, EVERYTHING they want - yet they ruin their own lives. i dont understand such people. dont they think for themselves. dont their parents care about them. thats one thing i wont be able to find out for myself.
if you are given something, take it. why waste it. dont ruin yourself.

whee* thats it.

the whole afternoon been looking for sites to download music files into DIDUM. sad that most of those i use they cant be synced into DIDUM cos they are ASFs, not MP3s or WMAs. sad. i was feeling kinda disappointed there.
people who happen to read this, any freakking idea which sites to visit if i wanna download music files into DIDUM.

(in case you didnt know, DIDUM is my ZEN micro that i just bought. cool name uhh.)

i am gonna pia my remaining holiday homework later. now i will go do my home econs poster, and my tll homework. simple- type and print. taadahh! smart me. save pen ink and my hand being tired and all. and the foremost reason: i get an excuse to use comp ! felicia rocks! DIDUM rocks ! (:
remaining homework include; -
my AFEW chengyus left
jianbao (i already glued mine onto the foolscap)
zhouji (i think i will think over later when i am sleeping about what i'm gonna write)

and i just found out that we've got english book review thing to do. i am such a pest. i dont even know this assignment existed. haha. but lucky felicia, it's due on the end of march. so i can read my book in peace. (i borrowed like 5 books, and i donno which i'm gonna choose) BLEAH.

so tonight's the night. no slacking. just piaing. set my msn status to 'busy' so i wont see people coming online and they wont come and bother me. DONT COME BOTHER ME.

i kept dreaming about you.

like i dreamt about you for two nights already.

everywhere i go, i look around for you.

i guess i am crazy over you. =/

i will try to quit this habit ! but i know time will filter away all these rubbish. so i dont even have to worry. whee`

7:46 PM

COLOURBLIND*darius

Feelin' blue, while I'm trying to forget the feeling that I miss
you
Feelin' green, when the jealousy swells and it won't go away in
dreams
Feelin' yellow, I'm confused inside
A little hazy but mellow when I feel your eyes on me
Feelin' fine! sublime!
When that smile of yours creeps into my mind
Oh oh
Nobody told me you'd feel so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light, you're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colour blind
You make me colour blind
Feelin' red, when you spend all your time with your friends and
not me instead
Feelin' black, when I think about all the things that I feel I
lack
Feelin' jaded, when it?s not gone right
All the colours have faded, then I feel your eyes on me
Feelin' fine! sublime!
When that smile of yours creeps into my mind
Mm mm
Nobody told me you'd feel so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light, you're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colour blind
You make me colour blind
Blinded by the light you shine, the colours fade completely
Blinded by you every time, I feel your smile defeat me
I'm colour blind
I just can't deny this feeling
Nobody told me you'd feel so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light, you're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colour blind
Nobody told me you'd feel so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light, you're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colour blind
You make me colour blind
I'm colour blind

4:09 PM

Friday, March 18, 2005

i like guy's hairstyle- so what. sowhat. nananipoooooo. =P
i prefer guys with funky funky hair. sowhat. nananipoooooo.
HAHA. siao.
i like being suakoo. and i love contradicting people. CANNOT AH.
talking to myself again. haha.

10:01 PM

felicia*braceface

hello! today there's a unsatiable craving for cakes.
defining cakes.
the cake i wanna eat is that of creamy creamy icy cold cakes
not butter cakes, sponge cakes, banana cakes, pandan cakes etc.
so i want a cake
which is choc flavoured
and coated with melted choc
and lots of choc cream.
OHMYGOD . i am going nuts.
lalala*
i shall go buy a cake to eat later.
wheeeee`

but i haven even eaten my breakfast. or maybe its lunch for now.
i shall cook instant noodles ... AGAIN.
save my money . later go buy a cake to eat. WHEE.
and gonna go get today's chinese papers. so i can finish my jianbao. (:

there are so many nice movies this holidays.
its a sad thing i didnt even go catch one.
NOT EVEN ONE.
alamak. sad.
there is
a series of unfortunate events (i wanted to watch long ago !! )
heffalump (i tink its nice)
robots (i know nat already watched it)
SON OF A MASK (OMG i wanna watch it SO MUCH can)
spongebob squarepants movie (the much much anticipated one. i sound spas.)

whatever lah. i wont be watching any. like - i am so broke , and who wants to watch movie, like these ? haha. there's only childish me. ME. so what. noone wants to watch movies these days anw. not movies like THESE. haha. HAHA. maybe i will go watch one myself. then i look like a freak. i dont mind.

today will be a piaing day for my pathetic pile of homework. sad case.
i have to polish my jap alot man. it's like sucking sarking hell. alamak.

and yeapp i need a haircut. wheee* i shall find a nice nice haircut to cut. so messy i cant stand my freakky hair. but at least i know its a million times better than mary's. like DUH. mary sucks. (not wgy that MARY okay)

i was looking through the yearbook ytd. i think the sec4 classes their photos are the neatest. like- they stand properly. their height goes from UP to down. it means that our photographer suck. and that person is tantuigee. doesnt he have a sense of sight or what. one look you see the sec 1s standing alignment is like shit. and i look like a freak in 1A's photo. so dont say that person's me, thankyou.

my teeth's not hurting that much anymore. 3cheers!

and today is friday. i wasted all of my holidays. i wished there's another week of holiday. cos i wont be able to part with the 10hours of sleep thing. alamak. i feel sad. the next holidays will only be in june. JUNE JUNE JUNE. sadness.

but i hope audrey that pok remembers to bring CHOBITS 4 and 5 on monday. that pok.

whee i am off to make my lunch! i know its not gonna be sumptuous, but who cares when you're broke. (:

11:42 AM

Thursday, March 17, 2005

i realise i am a lousy designer.
i am not creative. i am just a sucky ass.
no inspirations nowadays. i have been so bloody freaking slack.
later i WILL go do my homework.
cos shermaine that freaky ass already started on hers.
so why am i lagging behind?
haha.i dunno why.
so sleepy.

today woke up just in time. at around 9.45am?
then chionged to go bathe and then left the house.
went to macs for breakfast. i was craving for hotcakes the whole week already!
whee hotcakes rock ! seriously. (:
i sat there. poured maple syrup. spread butter over my hotcakes. yummy.
then had to slice the hotcakes one by one.
thank god hotcakes are soft.
i had a hard time eating hashbrowns instead.
so hard. in the end i decided to slice it before eating.
my teeth hurt like mad. hashbrowns arent THAT hard right?
then finished my breakfast with iced milo. SHUANG EHH!

so was still quite early. i went for dentist.
sat there. opened my book. barely started reading when i got called in. fast ehh today.
i had to hear the dentist crap abit about CPF things. like at least half an hour, before he started 'operating' on me. wah.
okay. so i spent my whole trip there sleeping. what else can i do ? freeze ? haha.
like he pasted the last two brackets which came off on tues onto my teeth. then had to wait for it to dry. so i was bored. i lied there and i fell asleep. for dunno how long. oman. so next time dental appointments are sleeping sessions. am i right.
and yeah the two brackets he put white in colour. weird ahh this guy.
and the bad news is-
i dont get to change this awful funny combination of colours until 6 weeks later ! OHMYGOD.
HAHA. i deserve it. nvm. i have fun laughing at my teeth anw. let the peers laugh at my teeth too. HAHA.
so i was at the dentist from 10.45 to 12.35. haha. wonder what i did there. sleep ? funny!

hello. i am gonna pia homework later. due to my motivation from shermaine, when she told me she already started on her homework. so i was taken aback, and i decided i MUST MUST do my homework.

and who the freaking hell is her DARLING ? she is getting on my nerves.
watt-ever. FINE if yah not gonna tell me. cos who wants to know . BLEAH.

so today, the ban has started to materialize.
1) NO hard foods.
2) NO BIG foods.
3) ONLY soft foods. (chewable ones)
4) SLICE big foods before eating.
5) TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY TEETH.

lalala. i am going to be SO freaky.

ahh. its such a hot day.
when its a HOT day, it means i have to on the air-con.
when i on the air-con, i get to enjoy.
then i will do my work.
i will LOCK myself in my room and do my work.
and i will read finish the A-LIST
make myself a nice chilling cold glass of orange juice
and
ENJOY MY DAY!
haha. i am just spending precious blood and water of my parents nonchalently. pardon me.

NO more computer.
just homework. homework. HOMEWORK.
till night.
i will get to eat my porridge
and i will come on9.
have one of my midnight chats again.
fun!

cheers for this kind of life i have!
yabayaba.

i simply love blogging. i will do up my blog on some freaky day.
maybe i will ask for permission to go daphne's house tmr.
she will be so excited!
and so am I.
lalala*

2:51 PM

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

hello. hell i dunno why i feel damn freaky bored today.
HAHAH. i cant find anybody online to keep me company. where the hell has the world gone to this holiday ? seems like i am the only GOOD GOON who's staying at home to kill time. HAHA.
my cousin is supposed to keep me company !! ohmygod.
and i have been keeping myself company by reading books.
the A-LIST.hey its okay. i mean- not that thrilling. i dunno what to say about it. once i finish this i will go on with another. THIS IS DUMB.
and i am feeling super bored because
a) i cant eat hard foods. sorry, i cant eat A THING. my teeth is hurting like MAD. boo. so i cant kill time. get it ?
b) stupid felicia yap ponned sphere project today. and thus feeling bored here.
c) no one is here to entertain felicia.
d) the tv programmes are sucky. really SUCKY. alamak !
e) i refuse to start on my holiday homework.despite knowing that i have tons of homework.
f) felicia yap refuses to do anything meaningful. like doing her homework or practise her erhu.
g) there's nothing meaningful for felicia to do !
h) felicia yap feels bored.

suddenly i feel like hopping onto a bus that takes me to daphne's house. cos i love going there ! haha. i wish. i am reminding myself that my ez link has no money. and the amount inside is like minus value. and i am lazy to go to the mrt station to top up. and i am feeling very hungry here. so i dont have the energy to go to the mrt station. and i am lazy to go to the mrt station. ALAMAK.

i am still feeling bored.
i am still feeling bored.
i am still feeling bored.
i am still feeling bored.
I AM STILL FEELING BORED.

ahh! i dont even have the energy to play games.
i haven eaten. ohmygod. i will DIE.

c'mon. i am feeling BORED.
felicia's feeling bored.
felicia's feeling bored.
felicia's feeling bored.

alamak. i am so sian.
maybe i will make a trip to hougang mall to kill time.
no, i shall do homework.
but i know i wont.
WHATS THE PROBLEM WITH ME.

i am bored.
i shouldnt have ponned sphere project today.
i shouldnt have ponned sphere project today.
i shouldnt have ponned sphere project today.
i am a bad and problematic kiddo.

ALAMAK..i am still bored.

2:33 PM

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

nananipoo-.

guess what dudes.
I DON BRACES.

=D

i look funny.

the brackets keep poking into my gums.
and the dentist damn gaoxiao.
he put red,green,red,green for me.
and there's a few black ones.
looks hilarious and spas.
no blue. ohh sadd.
he say another time then put blue.
okay- so i lied there for like what seemed an hour.
my hands were damn numb.
i fidget around.
i had to cough.
and one of the brackets kept coming out.
funny.
funny.
this thurs going back to the dentist.
tmr got sphere project.
i dont feel like going.
cos i know and i KNOW what's am i gonna expect there.
like- i will go there feeling okay and come back feeling lousy.
so the moral is
wherever you and she goes,
i shouldnt go.
i will feel like the extra person.
its always like that.
i regret signing up for it.
i dont wanna make myself feel depressed.

today must go start piaing for homework already.
slacked for so many days.
and nobody seems to be online these days.
i feel super bored.

and yeap i changed skin
a white one for a change
its plain lah. i dont give a damn to rack my brains for a complicated yet ugly one.
but i like it. i like it. if u dont its your big problem.
and i am gonna submit the old one on blogskins. but i am lazy to make the necessary changes to it. i am lazy.

i am gonna to get so laughed at. ohmygod.

i still hate you.

3:40 PM

Monday, March 14, 2005

i finally come to a conclusion today.

i hate you.
i hate you.
I HATE YOU.

thanks for coming over to ruin my life.

and stop showering me with concern cos the more you ask, the more i want to hate you.
though i dont exactly show it on my face.
maybe you could tell today-
that i am pissed.
maybe you thought becos i was sick, thats why.
but let me tell you : NO, i wasnt becos i was sick. it is becos of YOU.

i hate it when you came over.
i hate it when you laugh and joke and chat happily with her.
i hate it when you two behave like you all have known each other for a million years.
i hate it when she talks or asks me about you.
i hate it when you are popular and i am just a nobody.
i hate it when we all are walking together.
i hate it when she comes telling me you this you that.
i hate it when she comes telling me the happy times you all have.

i know she likes your company.
i know she doesnt like me.
i know that i am unpopular and unwelcomed by all.
i know that she thinks i have lousy dressing sense.
i know that i am boring.
i know i am not that friendly and open like you.
i know i have no true friends.
i know i have no friends.

and it's a fact. i dont have friends.
even if i do, they all slip one by one away.
i treasure friendships. i pray for everlasting ones.
she claims to be my best friend.
i doubt.
between me and her - i always feel this barrier.
emptyness. competition. selfishness. hollow. and something. whats that.
is it you.
yes i seriously think its so.
i cant interact well with her, but you can.
i cant create topics to talk about, but you can.
am i a better 'good-friend' or are you a better one ?
thats up to her to find out.
to her, i am just a lousy friend. or i am just a substitute for you.
i am a wet blanket. i reject like movie outings and stuff.
its not because i dont wanna go.
but becos i dont have the money to enjoy luxury.
for her, i think she needs a richer friend like you. so that she can talk about branded stuff with you.

i dont get it.
GOD WANTS TO RUIN MY LIFE.
whenever i have a problem solved -
another one justs keeps running in.
and i know it will keep running in and running in forever.
i think its YOUR fault.
but yet ;
this problem, i know, it cannot be untangled.
cos you made a mark in everyone's heart.
that u re a kind and friendly girl.
i dont tink likewise.
sometimes i just feel like fucking you off when i see [that].
i dont like sharing things with others.
not things like this also.
this is not meant to be shared.
but it keeps sliding away ..
i try to hold it back but it just keeps running away .
when i lift my head to look whats happening.
i wished i hadnt looked.
i am just escaping from reality.

next time if you and her are going somewhere, dont ask me along. dont even tell me that you are planning to go somewhere.
i feel so extra. like - i think you feel that if you didnt ask me i would feel angry.
no i wouldnt. i would like to thank you instead. so i wont have to fret over anything.
i know- to her - i am just a substitute.

so much for our friendship.

I HATE YOU.
thank you for ruining my life once and once again.

2:43 PM

Saturday, March 12, 2005

things to do for this really really really and definitely short holiday.
well the list is kind of long. =

`jianbao
`chengyu copying
`home econs CW poster
`project work prototype
`zhouji
`ALL uncompleted jap homework
`some baozhangyuedu that i owe twc
`uncompleted math homework which i haven handed up and i know i will get marks deducted (cos i was sick youu know !!!! )
`self study for lessons 7 to 11 of hcl
`cme is due on the 22nd (which i supppose nat wont be doing anything, and in the end i will have to chiong. so might as well do it now )
`14th : got debates workshop -ohyeapp i dunno where, what time it's gonna be held.
`15th: got dental appointment - i aint that enthu about going alrd. =\
`16th: got sphere project. i forgot what time we supposed to go alrd. =/ and OLE ``! erhu is cancelled. rmb that mary has either gone to malaysia with dhsco or maybe she has gone back to china for some visiting ? hmm i tink she went to malaysia with dhsco. whee.
`sports meet is on the 24th - heyy i wanna get a nice tan. and cheer for qian. and be proud of dhs. (: [its always like that right ? ]
`home econs test is on the 29th. yuckk i hate home econs test. it totally burst my brains.
`read chobits 3. i suppose i can within today. DUHH`
`read merchant of venice. and i cant rmb where i put it. gotta go looking for it alrd.
`finish ALL tution homework. omgggg. i feel guilty ! for not doing for SOOOO many weeks due to my busy schedule. and yeah even i ve got the time i wont do it anw. haha. so BETTER do it.
`practise erhu. though erhu is CANCELLED . bwahahahah. i will practise (if i have the time) =D
`pack my messy and untidy room. how long has it been in such an un-pristine state. gosh i cant breathe when i walk in. that shows how messy it is.
` a new blogskin. OHHHH I AM SICK OF THE CURRENT ONE ..

next term is bio. hey - though i tink bio is cool, but science is never my cup of tea. i should try but i always fail to score well in science. god knows whats my problem. cos i suck i suck i suck.
later i shall go do my TLL homework. using my comp. type and print. lazy to write. its so troublesome..

and i realise i wont be missing anyone.
nope. not even you.
and nope to 2A.
and i dunno - nope to my good friends.
i will just dig a hole through my homework and bury my head inside.
then dig another hole in the computer and put my legs inside.
and dig another hole in my bed and put my body through.
so my life this holidays will be sleep, homework and computer
nat ask me to watch movie. i am broke. i cant go. i am packed. i want to go. but i feel i am tied down by something. homework probably ? we shouldnt feel carefree at this stage of life. i mean- its good to relax at times. but my only problem now is - (maybe you guys are unaware of this) - i am kinda broke. no, i am SEVERELY broke. so i have to control my fingers and my wallet. and my food intake. buy too many unnecessary stuffs and food that do me no good. does apple pie do me no good ? i dunno. but i am alrd missing apple pies alrd. -- i cant wait to recover from this sickness.

i was just dabbling nonsense. realise that what i just said dont piece together. haha.

i am feeling real sore here. my throat. dunno whats the fugging prob with it. i alrd drank loads of cough syrup and ate 3 lozenges (so far) and i am still coughing quite badly. but funny. my ear's not even hurting. umm. this time i am real real lucky. that i am able to take the ear stud out w/o having to go through an operation. i am one lucky dude. so i shant complain these days. though my sister keeps irritating me and i have to lose my temper again. ahh talking about losing your temper, people reading - one good advice for you. dont eat too much unhealthy food. like junk stuffs, cakes, cheese etc. whatever that does you NO GOOD. later your weight from 40kg become 50kg become 60kg become 70kg become 80kg so and so then you will wanna regret. then at that point of time when u feel really angry about something, you will have a higher chance of getting stroke (probably mild ones, or maybe severe ?) or maybe fits. my poor neighbour just had that like 2 days ago. the bballer's cousin i suppose. he's only sec 3. sad. his poor mother have to fret for him. but, i hope he recovers soon. get well soon !! to me and to him.

yesterday when i was waiting for my turn at the clinic
i was coughing real bad. and feverish.
and for one moment i thought maybe i had sars.
and another moment i thought i had bird flu.
but anyway, i couldnt rmb the symptoms for both sicknesses. so, i gave up the idea.
heh. thats dumb.

whatever. i just realised i ve written alot. and i realise there arent that much homework. then again, there's alot homework rite ? =

haven been seeing you online for quite some time.

1:34 PM

Friday, March 11, 2005

last day of sch today. oh yeapp this is great.
today my fever came back. running quite high.
i couldnt take pe.
had severe headache and i couldnt breathe cos of my blocked nose.
ehh!
felt rather terrible.
in class the situation was worser
i was directly under the fan
so i couldnt even breathe
was panting like mad
and i brought a box of tissue to school today.
mad.
and yeah today co seniors sec3s and 4s go malaysia for performance
to xyz seniors -> bon voyage ! (:
so twc went to malaysia with them.
and her lesson we had free period.
we had SPA test today
in science lab i felt like passing out
and i was coughing and coughing terribly
i was burning hot
was advised by qian to go home
but i tink i will flop SPA
i just wrote crap
and my limewater didnt turn chalky
i just crapped on what i rmbed.
my 3rd experiment i did like four times
altogether i used like 7 test tubes for 3 experiments
cos i lazy to heat the test tube to get rid of the water inside
for twc's lesson we had free period
i finally realise i couldnt take it anymore
so went to apply for leave
was absent for math and hist periods
and also the cheering session today aft sch
cant expect me to cheer in such a pathetic condition
like duh. my throat is bloody pain.
so aft i took leave i went straight to the doctor.
my temp was running quite high. high fever.
39.5 degree.
i asked the doctor if he could help me take out my ear stud from my ear
but he couldnt
the earring embedded under the skin
so he referred me to another room to look for another nurse
the nurse manage to take out the screw behind
but the earring cannot take out
she use needle to poke and poke
dunno lah
she did alot of things
pain. pain. pain.
in the end still cannot
so she ask me go another room look for a doctor
the doctor kind of operated on me
but no stiching
he inject anestesia (i dunno how to spell) into my ear
using a long long stringe with a long and sharp needle
wahh the feeling like not any ordinary injection
cos normal ones are like ant bites
this one is like a burning sensation
but aft that my ear no feeling
then dunno what he did
he took the earring out
no pain.
i still ve got the earring with me.
but my earlobe bleed alot.
i am so glad that i ve got the earring out.
(:
then he just dress my wound.
another 2 days or so can take the dressing out.
cos now kind of got infection.
oh yeapp
he said my earhole would most probably close
hah` its ok for me
i wont pierce my ear ever again -

when can i ever see you again.

9:05 PM

Write about 9 of the most important people in yourlife.
BUT
a) you cannot mention their names.
b) you cannot tell anyone who asks you who theyare.
c) ENJOY!

1. my dad and my mum. though i dont like their scoldings and naggings but somehow they matter to me in my life. (:

2. youu the only one who matters.

3. the one who's around my height. and yupp very fit and great at ball. even though sometimes u might appear to be dao and sometimes u are emotionless (i dunno) or go madd. tanks for all the concern and we.will.rock.the.world. and we re best pals yeah ?

4. you with the goood running skills. maybe ure not that impt but i cant tink of other possible candidates. bball mate. yappers. we support each other when needed. projects are mostly done by you. yeappp - u re definitely impt to me.

5. xyz` the sec2s'05 batch.my very nice seniors.

6. you who went into a separate school from me. i miss you alot. but i guess you ve really changed alot yeah ? i dunno. this is wad i heard. nvtheless, we are still good friends ! (:

7. that someone whom i can pour my woes to. that someone who is available to transport me. or we transport together. that someone who is worried for my safety today. though i didnt faint lah duh. -.-

8. the whole of 2A. hear my story.- when i was a sec 1 kiddo, i stepped into 1A. I thought 1A sucked to the core and i couldnt wait to get out of 1A. i hated my class. i didnt know why. time flies. year end. interclass comp. 1A girls displayed their class spirit. people like weiyan even came to give us support. though we suffered defeat, we knew we put up a good match. 1Aians arent sore losers. we accept what we have. dec hols i really missed my class alot. this year 2A. i love 2A even more. the times we ve gone through. we slacked in class. slept in class. all the niaoings from the teachers. late work. the lame jokes we crack and sarcastic remarks we pass to the teachers are bits and pieces of 2A. 2A is my class. 2A is not just a class which is emotionless. We play bball together. We sit together in the canteen to have our recess/lunch together. We joke and laugh together. We rock. This year 2A's gonna tear down your ass. Watch it.

9. my cousins. and yeapp you the one who i ve made it a habit to look out for.

12:39 AM

Thursday, March 10, 2005

it wasnt THAT memorable afterall. what a disappointment !! :(
and the thing pokes into my gums. and the thing pokes into my gums.
and when i came home, something gross happened.
its damn err. i dont think u would wanna find out.
i tink i am dieing soon ! omg. / what did i pull out siah. i hope its not a vein. !!!!
and yeapp i am getting absent minded. i am certified to have short term memory.
i couldnt rmb where i put my mug of water and i spent time looking for it. ass.
and i am getting severe really severe really really severe sore throat, dry cough and blocked with running nose.
ahh` i had nosebleed again. but the dentist knew i had nosebleed when he looked into my mouth. pro zaii !
uggh. i hope i am not having fever. -.-
tink tmr going to the doctor's. i am really NOT feeling well. ok!
my nose is stuck. ohhhh` i feel like jumping into the grave. cough cough cough. *ouch* my throat hurts AGAIN.. wtf is happening to me and where the shit did my thermometer fly to. i hate this week. go to hellllllll .
will i recover. or i will go on being sickkkkkkkk forever. ohnooo!
just let me die.

7:34 PM

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

today is official sick day ! haha.
i woke up at 7. late alrd.
then chionged to school.
lessons alrd started. ms wee's lesson ! =/
no SC booked me. neither did twc ask me anything. (:
anw, i had fever. kind of high.
i had to wear a sweater. and i felt dizzy and a major headache pounds my head.
lucky wee never ask me why i late. but she nubbad lah.
she know i sick, allow me to sleep in class. sehbohh! and she help me take warm water from the canteen. woah -
i didnt pe anw. today last lesson of vball. sadd.
so i sat there and i felt much better.
ahh. and i tink mr cheng sucks to the core. whats his name ? issit mr cheng or chen .? =\
i dont get a thing he says. he doesnt even explain. and he just talk cock and yeah ? i am lost.
recess chionged for science test. i didnt really study. how to study when i ve got fever. but, i did study but cant rmb anything.
shermaine that ass made me run and i felt giddy. pokkk.
and she like very kanchiong. she went screaming away when we were piaing hard. the screams of a big fat crow. hah .
anw, science test sucked. i dunno a thing. FAIL FAIL FAIL .
lit test got alot pple failed. but i heng, passed borderline. lucky lucky.
then the whole lit lesson we watching animal farm video. its damn different from what the book relates. and the 'beasts of england' song the animals sing until like what. they sing in animal language. and funny funny de. napoleon sucks. ugly fat asss.
then went to play bball for a while. dizzy dizzy dizzy. -.-" lethargic.
art -> we just did our art. tmr must passup ! haiiix. i spent like the whole day doing it since i came back. now i know whats my problem with the pic liao. so dumb of me. like- i wanna resize the pic aft i move it to my background. i want it to be small. my cartoon is like bigger than my bg. then i always dunno what to do. i figured it out just niah! use free transform to make the pic smaller. -.- " kau waste all my effort. adobe photoshop keep hanging my comp. think is my comp abit too slow lah. i used lasso to outline my pic like a million times alrd. till i wanna die. okk, finally done with it alrd ! (:

people say my eyes look teary and they are red. haha. i dont feel that they are teary. i can only feel my headache. =/
btw, thanks everyone for asking me if i was ok not. i am UNok. hahh.`
and i know yup i am defying myself when i played bball today.
like i am sick yet i force myself to exercise and sometimes i feel giddy and will almost fall back.
then sometimes i just sit on the court and people think that i am feeling no good. haha. i am not feeling that good anw. duh!
but, shooting damn off today. think got smth to do with my fever.
and yeapp i ponned erhu today. dont even tink i can make it to the 30 busstop. how can i survive erhu lessons when i feel like fainting.
and i tink i couldnt have made it home if gena's dad didnt fetch me home. haha. thanks alot again!
and i hate being niaoed. just fuck off wont you. NEVER will it happen. its impossible.!!!!
just go away cos i dont welcome [you] into my life.

my dad says i am infected with virus. like my fever resides and goes up time after time.
i haven go see doc ! tmr going dentist. =)

10:00 PM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.